Ian Logan - Twitter King of the CFL
by: Tony “Tee” Martin
The Blue & Gold may have got their ass kicked in Montreal, but there is some good news from Swaggerville Bomberville this week.
Ian Logan was the first CFL player to reach a 1000 followers on Twitter. Hot 103’s Ace Burpee will make a $500 donation to Winnipeg’s United Way on behalf of the Bomber safety.
via: @ianlogan31:
“Its been an eventful night. Mission accomplished. Thanks to everyone who helped. $500 is going to @unitedwaywpg!!”
Way to go Ian.
Now if Burpee could only convince Doug Brown to setup an account…
Go Blue!!!
Crappy Honker Award
by H.F. Salisbury
In the great tradition of recognizing “Cactus” Jack Wells and the Happy Honker Award given out on C-Job radio here in Winnipeg, I present for you yet another instalment of the Happyfantastic
However, as with the previous edition, this was a tough one to award again. You see, when you loose as bad as the Bombers did against Montreal. There are a lot of nominations.
My initial thought was give it to Bishop. He was brutal in the game going 8 for 21. Then I thought of the dropped passes but thought hey, they were probably shocked that Bishop hit their number and not row 27 of the stands. What about that run game… it was putrid. Note to Reid – if you are going to guarantee winning the rushing title, you will need to average a bit more than 3.36 yards on 11 carries. Guess it’s hard to run with your jaw wagging.
Could I award it to the entire offence???? What did we have two first downs going into the half?!?!?!? What about the dynamic defensive duo arguing on the sidelines on national television? Sure this team has bonded, Swaggerville… what a joke. Awarding to a large group like that would be a copout. What was an Angry Bomber Fan to do? Then Mike Kelly opens his mouth.
Guess what, I’m not even shocked he said BS live on the air. In a way I kind of agreed with his point but that lack of professionalism caused listeners to focus on the words not the message.
What Coach Kelly really gets this award for is his half assed apology. You don’t lay down rules to those you are apologizing to. You are supposed to be humble. We get it… defending your players is good. We are not allowed to question their “effort or focus.” I have one question Coach… can I question your professionalism?
Congratulations Coach Kelly, your unforgettable (and perhaps unforgivable) performance has earned this week’s Crappy Honker Award,
PS I hope the CLF doesn’t fine me $2,000 for saying half assed (whoops did it again). If I’ve offended anybody, I apologize. It won’t happen again. See Coach, it’s not that hard to apologize.
Make Ian Logan The Twitter King of the CFL & Win Tickets to the Game
Help Blue Bomber Ian Logan be the first CFL player to reach 1000 followers on Twitter.
Ace Burpee and Hot 103 will donate $500 to the United Way if the Bomber safety is the first player to have 1000 followers on the social networking site.
Just announced: Hot 103 is also giving away 25 pairs of tickets to the game against Hamilton. You have to be following @Ianlogan31 in order to win.
Go Blue!!!
Mike Kelly's Outburst After The Game
Not only did the Blue Bombers get their ass kicked by Montreal, Mike Kelly flipped out again on CJOB after the game. Here we go again.
Hear it here.
Glamourous Movie Stars with Totally Retarded Publicists
By Mike A.
For some reason my partner had to leave the house bright and early on November 1st 2008. I recall her coming back to tell me a few amusing little stories about the “used up whores”, making their way home on foot after a Halloween night out in their sexy nurse, fairy and bunny costumes. You could tell who they were. They walked with bow legs, with their makeup smeared, their crumpled outfits sagging and stained with alcohol and various other substances. They lumbered through neighborhoods they had no real business being in with vapid and pained expressions on their faces, horribly smeared masks of human suffering and shame that had just woken up in a pile of vomit on the bathroom floor. Twisted ankles, broken heels, chipped teeth, stolen money. It all seems like just another day for the hard living and unholy on their endless quest for a nice strong bar tab to warm themselves up next to.
Its days like this where the CFL reveals its true colours. The playoff picture as it stands this morning affects me as if a rabid peacock just unfurled its grandiose plumage. As it turns out every game has mattered this year. The East could go almost any way. It’s mesmerizing and beautiful to take in, but sadly, this fanned, iridescent blue-green or green coloured plumage in addition to being part of the courtship process, is also used to warn of danger or to ward off threats. What will happen today and how will it affect the future? Questions like this are what make the league interesting. What is guaranteed is that remaining games for teams like Edmonton, Winnipeg and Hamilton will be savage beatings from which some will not rise from.
The floundering Winnipeg Blue Bombers hang on to life by hardly anything at this point. As a result of Hamilton’s unexpected whipping of the Saskatchewan Roughriders last night, a Bomber win tomorrow would kick Edmonton out of the cross over spot unless Edmonton wins next week. Potentially, we could lose to Hamilton and still secure the last playoff spot. A loss tomorrow means the Hamilton game will be won or we will not make the playoffs at all.
I have been careful to hold back on discussing the playoffs because anyone else with half a brain has been blathering on about the playoff picture for weeks. But now with the Bombers improved fortunes as of late and the fact that this game is crucial, it seems that there really isn’t much else to concern ones self with at this point anymore. There is a rushing title up for grabs, but it’s all so meaningless if the Bombers fall on their swords.
It was made formal on Friday morning that Al’s star quarterback Anthony Calvillo will return this week. Coach Trestman must understand that the front line can not be rested even though this weeks’ match is meaningless to the Al’s. Calvillo is exciting to watch. As 2008’s Player of the Year and ranked fourth in all time passing yards in the league, Calvillo has enjoyed whipping the snot out of teams like the Bombers for several years now. After watching his team being heavily dismantled in Winnipeg last week must have been tough on the old cunt. All bets are on that he’ll be itching for his revenge.
Frankly, I don’t think we can do this without Michael Bishop. Without him, the receivers need not show up and the O line will be run into and buried under cleat-stomped shallow graves in the Bombers end zone all afternoon long. The very thought of it makes me want to vomit 3 double vodka crantini’s in the sink but the highly structured and dynamic Alouette Offensive line can quickly tie you into so many knots, all there will be left to do is to stuff a hundred dollar bill in your mouth after you’ve been put to sleep.
Match that kind of poise that Calvillo exhibits week after week with Bishop’s rocket launching arm, and suddenly this could turn out to be a gun fight with both teams trading scores in a match that could see both teams stomping 30 points out of each other.
I have said it at least once this year. Montreal needs to stay focused. This game is no different with the exception that a loss against Winnipeg this afternoon will likely result in a re-match against the Bombers in November. Winnipeg has been building confidence in the last third of the season and are likely hungry for a chance to smack the living daylights out of the Alouettes a second time in as many weeks. The Bombers are four and one in their last five. This kind of outrage requires the kind of disciplined play that Winnipeg has struggled with for years. Without Bishop’s leadership I just can’t see it happening.
We’re either going to win an extremely tough offensive battle this afternoon or else we will wake up in someone’s filthy aqua blue coloured bathroom tomorrow with a head pulsating from the extremely unpleasant physiological effects of living just another day in Bomberville, staring down a lonely journey home, feeling flush, nauseous and with an overwhelming sense of dejection and failure.
Happy Halloween
by H.F. Salisbury
I love Halloween. Yesterday, I made a comment that it is my favourite holiday of the year only to be reminded by my wife that it is NOT a holiday. Rather it is an “occasion.” Whatever… it’s still cool and the best idea the Celts have had that I’m aware of.
At any rate, the picture above was taken at my daughter’s school Halloween party. The kid in the picture said his only regret about the costume was that a) he couldn’t find a watermelon to wear on his head as they are now out of season, b) he couldn’t find a real banjo, and c) it really pained him to wear Riders gear because he was “True blue.”
It wasn’t the best costume (one kid dressed up as “Vince the Sham Wow guy” complete with portable desk to actually do product demonstrations) but it sure got my attention.
I hope the Bombers dress up as the “Beast of the East” and keep the costume on for tomorrow’s tilt against Montreal.
GO BLUE GO!!!
PS… The Slap Chop commercial with Vince still cracks me up.
The PacNu Report
Wanna win some cash? So does PacNu! This week the Pac likes Edmonton to cover that big spread, a tie in the Saskatchewan/Hamilton game and BC in a Proline win. Keep checking back for his pick in the Winnipeg/Montreal game.
PacNu’s Gate Night Special (even though the gamer is on Sunday) is for Minnesota to win in Green Bay.
It's Easy To Be A Winner When You're Not In The Game
by Mike Warkentin - Uptown Magazine
I wonder if Barack Obama feels like Tee Martin.
A few years ago, quarterback Tamaurice (Tee) Martin arrived in Winnipeg and practically stepped off the plane onto coats laid at his feet by ardent supporters of the Winnipeg Blue Bombers. After a stellar college career in the U.S. and stints with NFL squads, Martin was a golden child of sorts - the kind of player who might guide the Bombers from the depths of ineptitude to that elusive Grey Cup.
Martin was an instant celebrity and the fans in the stands couldn’t wait to see him in action. Some wanted to anoint the former Tennessee Volunteer the starter before he had even picked up a fat old CFL football and noticed its stripes.
When starter Kevin Glenn faltered, as he often did, the armchair quarterbacks got more vocal and Canad Inns Stadium was soon filled with calls for Martin to be inserted into the game. Suddenly, a dude who had never played a down became the most popular guy in the stadium. Tee was to be the saviour - the next Ken Ploen, perhaps - and the fans were certain a new hero was holding a clipboard on the sidelines.
Of course, once Martin got in the game, he was terrible. Career numbers: 458 yards, one touchdown, four interceptions and two fumbles. And here’s your plane ticket back to Alabama, Mr. Martin.
Politics is a lot like football and the more I read about both worlds, the more I understand the late Hunter S. Thompson’s passion for both the gridiron and the political arena.
President Obama has been living the life of a backup quarterback for quite some time. He’s new, he’s fresh and he’s full of promise. He hasn’t been beaten up, slandered or abused. He hasn’t screwed up on national TV. He represents hope for the future and the best chance the Americans have of reclaiming past glories washed away by economic crises, sick citizens without health insurance and endless, expensive wars.
Hell, Obama received a Nobel Prize basically for what he might do.
And then Obama got into the game.
On Oct. 23, a Gallup poll revealed that Obama’s quarterly approval rating has slumped from 62% to 53%, which may not seem like much, except it’s the largest quarterly decline since Harry Truman lost 13 points between the second and third quarters of 1946.
The shine is most certainly off the apple.
When Obama was elected, I remember saying I hoped he was everything the American public believed him to be. I also remember saying it was high time he get to work. Now it’s October and it would appear that many Americans have lost some degree of faith in their new leader, just like Bombers fans lost faith in a fleet, strong-armed quarterback with questionable decision-making skills.
Obama is on safer footing than Martin because he’s been elected to a four-year term. Still, I’d suggest that all the expectations placed upon him mean he doesn’t have anywhere near four years to produce some big-time results. I’d suggest he’s got far less than a year and, if things get worse instead of better, I’ll bet they’ll get ugly in short order.
But I’ll say it again: I hope Obama has all the answers.
If he doesn’t, he won’t be the starting quarterback for long.
Mike Warkentin loves football.
Swaggerville's So Sweet
By: Gary Lawless - Winnipeg Free Press
They call it Swaggerville, this cocky but accomplished defensive secondary of the Winnipeg Blue Bombers, and it’s become a dangerous place for quarterbacks looking to plunder and pillage for some passing loot.
They’ve already collected 29 interceptions, the highest total by a CFL team since B.C. led the league with 36 picks in 2006 and the most by a Bomber bunch since the ‘94 group finished with 32.
“Swaggerville is an unlimited, infinite, incredible amount of confidence. That’s what it is. I feel like everybody in the secondary, we’re the tone-setters,” explains defensive back Lenny Walls. “For the defence, the team and everything, that’s what we do. One thing about this secondary is we all have confidence. That’s why I started calling it Swaggerville. We believe in each other and making plays. We all make plays and we compete. If you have guys in your secondary that compete and fight, it’s Swaggerville.”
Walls coined the term and says it’s from his youth.
“We used to call it Swaggerville when I was growing up in the inner city,” Walls reflects. “I came here and looked around at these guys and thought, ‘This is the perfect group to be called Swaggerville.’ “
Early in the season they found themselves stranded on the field by an incompetent offence and they lead the league in passing attempts against at 609, and that’s hurt them in a couple of departments. They’ve allowed a league-worst 369 completed passes and their average passing yards against per game of 266.2 is seventh in the CFL.
All that aside, they’ve come on strong down the stretch and added consistency to their ball-hawking abilities.
Bombers coach Mike Kelly says this group has charged hard in the second half of the season.
“I think they’re pretty indicative of the entire football club in that there’s been this melding , if you will, of that group and they’ve fed off each other. They take great pride in what they do every single day,” offered Kelly.
The boss says he enjoys watching his secondary play.
“They’ve got a little swag to them and I don’t have a problem with that because they’ve been backing up their swagger,” said Kelly. “They’re not fools about their swagger. When they make a good play, they certainly celebrate but they celebrate together. They’re not individualistic in how they celebrate just to bring attention to themselves. I like the way they embrace one another when one of them makes a good play.”
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition October 29, 2009 C3
Winnipeg = Swaggerville
