Bedtime for Toronto
Mike Alexander
If there was ever a need to slap on a pair of nasty jackboots and then use a face as a gas pedal and pinning the needle before using the same face to slam on the breaks hard, tonight in Winnipeg at the Canad Inns stadium would be it. After last weeks’ stunning, and I mean goddamn stunning comeback by the Bombers against the Al’s and subsequent celebrating that went on long into the night, Winnipeg finds itself with momentum to make a crazy-legged dash to the finish of the season with a final stand tonight at home on Maroons Ave.
And in the midst of these crazy anything-can-happen days of CFL football, it’s a tough business for guys like our very own PacNu…a man who has probably had his house mysteriously burned down several times this year as angry fans lose truckloads of cash over his picks. Sorry to hear about it, Pac! All over the country, Gamblor’s neon talents are gouging into the soft juicy eyeballs of the perverted black rain slicker wearin’ betting crew like hot knives through butter…bodies are ending up in the trunks of late model sedans with two in the back of the skull and also with crushed testicles…likely from some sort of blunt force trauma…No one can be certain as to what is going to happen next in this league. It’s a wild ride with as many punishing lows as there are ebullient highs. So while it could be said that the safe money is on the Bombers eating a turnbuckle and then hammer fisting the hapless Argos into pixie dust up and down the field tonight, there are a few sobering thoughts about tonight’s match that hopefully serve to reign in the drunk scumbags in St. James who are sharpening their blades and digging up their brass knuckles from the kitchen junk drawer in preparation for an Argo thumping tonight at 7. But none of those concerns are important right now.
The problem with Toronto is that they prefer to sit on the sidelines polishing their slipper collections all night long. Winnipeg won the first two matches against the Argos, but then wrecked what was otherwise a very nice birthday party for me on September 24th with a thrilling yet disappointing 25-24 loss to Toronto in which pretty much every Bomber that took the field got injured at some point in the game. So while we learn that the Toronto D is explosive and often excruciating, it wasn’t that Toronto won the game as much as it was that Winnipeg lost the thing. Anyways, with resident Toronto flunkie QB Steven Jyles at the helm looking to secure himself employment in the 2012 season, it’s hard to say what kind of night he’ll have. Probably not a good one. With their team out of the playoffs this year, they say that Toronto is playing for pride tonight but I’m not sure that Steven really has much experience with that particular emotion, so I don’t see how effective or productive that rallying cry will serve the Argos. Look for turnovers all night long. Jyles is a man not fit to be on this field. And yet here we are. Time for a butchering.
So going into week 18, this is the deal: Winnipeg are currently tied for 1st in the east with Montreal. The Als play Calgary on Saturday. If Winnipeg wins tonight and Montreal loses tomorrow, we will clinch 1st place in the east on account of winning the seasonal rivalry against Montreal 2 games to 1.
We call upon the Beer Snake to rise again to claim a victory for the Blue and Gold tonight. Let’s do this one last time for good measure in that old dump. How about Winnipeg by 15? Sound good? We will be there in section 9 to watch the massacre unfold.
Go blue!
