Belief divides them, mystery surrounds them, but the Banjo Bowl changes everything.
by Mike A.
In the 2007 movie adaptation of a Stephen King short “The Mist”, small town folk discover that a mysterious fog that has come ashore contains crazy other-worldly monsters bent on the bloody and murderous destruction of civilization. Like a foreboding message proclaiming doom and some kind of hellish apocalypse that threatens to end the entire season for the Winnipeg Blue Bombers season, the pea soup fog enveloping this early mornings’ solitude is the kind of thing that makes me nervous and paranoid. It would seem that within this fog of death and horror, tentacles and fucking nightmares and Saskatchewan Rough Riders have come to Winnipeg for the Banjo Bowl follow up to last weeks’ disastrous Labour Day Classic. Much like with the future of humanity in “The Mist”, it’s my belief that the future of the Bombers’ season rests on this game. The assurances of victory and the tall tales of re-energized offensive coaching will no longer make a difference. If the confused and beleaguered staff on Maroons Road can’t come up with a plan and come up with it fast, this entire season ends this afternoon.
We’re only just past the midway of the 2009 season and to describe the gravity of the situation to band-wagon jumping fans of mine becomes increasingly embarrassing and difficult to do. You can rest assured that it does not inspire confidence to witness the Winnipeg Blue Bombers conducting a mid-season training camp this week with yet another new QB by the name of Casey Bramlet. With Stephan Lefors on the DL, I suppose it makes sense, however it’s becoming hard to understand just how Kelly plans on tying all of these new players together in some ungodly and brutal formation that somehow manages to produces victories. There has been no chemistry and the offensive production this year has been utterly laughable. Winnipeg marches onto the field this afternoon with the second lowest scoring offence in the league. Pair this situation with Barrin Simpson slapping on a pair of ill-fitting clown shoes as a follow up to last weeks’ Pac Man foible and one can only hope that the on field entertainment is only half as ludicrous as it is off the field.
I clearly understood from the get-go that this year was considered developmental according to coach, Mike Kelly. It’s sad to consider Michael Bishop to be the short term solution to a glaring number of holes in the offensive coordination. In spite of all efforts at being patient and waiting so see some chemistry develop, I just haven’t seen it happen. Mike Kelly has mortgaged the team off with his off season cuts and assurances that QB’s like LeFors and Randall are starting material. They are not and even worse, Bishop’s propensity for throwing in completions and picks is enough to make a happy man old.
I suspect that at the conclusion of the season, once the Bombers have lost a semi-final in the East, we will be able to dissect the corpse and find areas that are in good health. This team is not atrocious as our 3-6 record might suggest. While I am certainly not a member of the Kelly Kool Aid Club, I see promise. We will be able to build on this year and hopefully field a team of football players instead of buffoons, has-beens and never-wills prone to the most revolting display of douche-chill inducing of dramas and self-effacing egomania.
The Bombers are at a crossroads today. No amount of coach Kelly’s assurances or promises will cut it after today should Winnipeg lose this game. After today it turns ugly. And not Philly or Chicago ugly, but ugly in the avalanche of devastation and futility that will spring without mercy from fans who have come to grips with the fact that the Grey Cup is a minimum of two or three years down the road should Kelly’s gutting and season-long training camp for a rotating cast of characters one day take shape.
Winnipeg are left without a choice except to win this afternoon and they should be goddamned sorry and ashamed of themselves for painting themselves into this tragic and mind-numbingly disgusting race for last place in the East with the lowly Toronto Argonauts.
It’s simple, and it’s been a recurring message for several games now. To me, it’s a broken record. We must possess the ball a lot more often than we are. In addition, Bishop needs deep completions as well as accurate passing. It shouldn’t be too much to ask for a minimum of picks, but this is the Mike Kelly’s fascinating world of intrigue and terror as witnessed week after week on the field. Yet if our offence can show up and create some impact for positive gains, I can see Winnipeg brining it home. This team is so utterly out of control that if we win, it will be ugly. There could be an array of bodies hauled out in stretchers. Mothers of key players might have heart attacks and keel over right there on the West side. If penalties and bizarre last minute field goals don’t round this one out, an evil fucking fog will envelope Canad Inns Stadium and then everyone will destroyed by the aliens from another dimension. And in the resulting insanity, desperation and absurdity, Winnipeg will take this one by 5.
