Remember the Good Old Days?
by Tony “Tee” Martin
Remember the good old days? When all Bomber fans had to worry about were Troy Westwood’s shanking a kick (how much $$$ has he made the W.C.L.C.?), the over priced beer, an inconsistent secondary that would play like Grey Cup contenders one week and then look like they would get schooled by a Division 3 college team the next game, the stale popcorn, Doug Berry screaming at Alexis Serna, Kevin Glenn throwing a wobbly pass off his back foot for an interception, the soggy hot dogs or what mood Blink was in this week? Those were the days.
Now not do fans have to deal with the media circus that the Blue & Gold have become, they have to watch their beloved team become the laughing stock of the league. I guess we know how Hamilton fans felt all those years. To recap:
1. Rookie head coach Mike Kelly gets his knuckles rapped by the league for trying to use veteran QBs during evaluation camps.
2. Kelly claims the Bombers’ scouting system is non-existent and wonders if Taman kept most of his player info on the back of napkins. Classy.
3. Coach Kelly declares an unproven 2rd stringer from Edmonton his new QB, basically ensuring he would get NOTHING for Glenn. This may have been the first sign Kelly was crazy.
4. The Derrick Armstrong soap opera. Again, Kelly cuts a productive player and gets NOTHING in return. Remember that Armstrong is a five-year veteran and a 1,000-yard receiver in the past two seasons. Maybe the receiver saw the writing on the wall and decided that Kelly’s ancient offense schemes were headed for disaster. Not playing in the season opener may have been the smartest thing he could have done.
5. Spygate. ” Non issue. It’s handled internally. I’ve got nothing to say.” Mike Kelly
6. Kelly basically blames the fans for LeFlors shitting the bed and claims that Winnipeg has too many fair-weather fans. Seriously?
7. Stefan LeFlors. Starts 4 games, completes only 46.6% and has a league low passer efficiency rating of 60.8. He is forced to take a 40% pay cut after being demoted. He looks good in a baseball hat and is an expert at relaying plays with a whiteboard though.
8. Worried that his daughters are hearing faithful Bomber fans attack him week in and week out on his CJOB call-in show, Coach K. decides to only take questions via email or in person. Keep in mind that both Doug Berry and Jeff Reinbold faced the fans each week, despite their terrible records. I thought he claimed to be a tough Philadelphian?
9. Mike Kelly offensive genius guru coordinator.
“Google me, I’ve had success elsewhere.” M.K.
Coach K. was supposed to bring his top secret, fool proof offensive game plan to the Bombers. While it may have worked in the ’90s, it’s obvious to everyone (but the coach) that it’s outdated and just isn’t working. It has been simplified, dumbed down and reduced to numbers on a whiteboard. There is a reason no other team runs this offense - IT DOESN’T WORK. Even though Kelly himself claims that it is the worst offense he has been associated with, he refuses to do anything about it except bring in Bishop (who was hanging out down south, playing with his nieces and nephews) and give fresh-off-the-plane QB Casey Bramlet some game time. Remember that Bramlet needs a GPS to find the stadium and has only 3 practices under his belt. At least he knows what the CFL is, that’s a bonus! But considering that Bomber QBs have combined for 5 passing touchdowns (Glenn has 9 in limited action) against 15 interceptions and are comfortably at the bottom of most CFL offensive stats, something has to be done. If you like betting the under, the Bombers have been paying off nicely. I guess that is one upside to this season.
10. Pacman Jones. What needs to be said here? After claiming to have released Armstrong to promote team unity and trying to only bring in players with character, the team goes after Jones who is probably best known for his multiple run-ins with the law and for “making it rain” at strip clubs. He would be a Bomber now if it wasn’t for SI.com breaking the story (based on info from the Bombers) and Jones rambling on a web cam feed about being good for a touchdown a game and confusing the fledgling UFL with the CFL.
11. The Barrin Simpson debacle. Hoping to break the record for chasing away/releasing/trading the best players on a team, it looks like The Minister of Defence won’t be playing again for the Blue & Gold this year. With Simpson filing a grievance with the league and teams hesitant to trade for him because of the situation and his turf toe injury, once again one of the top Bombers (and potential allstars) is going to be watching the Bombers lose on TSN instead of heading up the defence.
It has been a long season for Bomber fans and it doesn’t look like it’s going to get any easier. I sure wouldn’t want to work in the Bombers’ marketing division. If the team gets thumped by Montreal, how hard is it going to be to fill the stands and sell merch once the weather turns? Come to think of it, they could start selling fancy Blue & Gold paper bags to the season ticket holders desperate to see their team get blown out.
