An Ugly, Inconvenient Truth: Sundown in Goddamn Calgary.
by Mike Alexander
So here we are going into week five of the CFL. Tonight the Winnipeg Blue Bombers enter McMahn Stadium, a terrifying, haunted place in Oil Country that billows a radiation that is fatal to the Bombers. It’s a place where the unwitting go to experience lessons in violence, shame and degradation. The locals there have known about it for years and are all hungrily snorting high quality cocaine in the parking lot at this hour, eager to witness an on-field death count climb higher and more brutal than the one they just look part in recently at the Calgary Stampede. The Stampede, for those who might have missed it, is a gruesome place where animals are used as four legged drill bits by angry and well paid miniature-brained human beings and chuck wagon operators to the delight of a savage audience that enjoys this annual throw back to scenes of mass graves being filled in European locations in some of the more shameful moments of 20th century. Fans of the Stampeders have been lusting for this moment, proudly boasting that it will be even more spiritually uplifting than the seal hunt. With an impressive 3-1 record coming into tonight’s’ game, just about anyone who hasn’t been kicked in the face by horse at some point in their now complex and mentally retarded life, is banking on the Stamps to lay a severe licking on Winnipeg tonight.
For the record, I’m not laughing at any of this. Frankly, I think that these drugged up cowfolk have a point. Four games into it now, I think that tonight could offer up the introductory chapter to the story of the 2010/11 Winnipeg Blue Bombers. It marks a shift from the pre-season and the baby steps to a point in the season where tonight’s game matters a great deal. The text that will summarize the season will be committed to paper within the next few games. A victory tonight against the Stamps is so important to Winnipeg tonight because if we are unable to beat them here and now, a familiar shift in momentum will be felt wafting through our minds, bodies and spirits. It’s a soul crushing feeling that only Bomber fans seem to truly understand. And we want no part of this slow motion car wreck this year.
The road ahead after tonight is fraught with games best left unmentioned for the time being, especially that big one against Montreal on the horizon. The Bombers are playing four of the next five games on the road. But that is not important right now. All we can focus on is the task at hand. The glaring fact of the matter is that Winnipeg have not even won a game in McMahon stadium since 2002. To make matters worse, Calgary haven’t lost at home in their last eight. If the Bombers want to do better than bat .500, we must be able to have the Stamps firmly wearing our boots up their asses by the time that the last whistle blows at the conclusion of tonight’s match.
The Bombers remain plagued with injuries, including quarterback Buck Pierce. Happily, Odell Willis is back in even if Mike Renault is out. I’m not too busted up about Renault being gone as long Javon Johnson pulls out a game like he did against Edmonton that earned him a nod as the special teams player of the week. Johnston looked fantastic seven days ago, especially when he ran that 83 yard punt return for a TD against the Eskimos. It was much appreciated to see special teams avoid a state of catatonia as soon as they heard the game opening whistle being blown.
In addition to special teams, Winnipeg’s defense must show up or else we will all watch the Stamps stamp on our hats and spit tobacco in our eyeballs. With famed Calgary receiver Ken Yon Rambo back in the mix after a knee injury he sustained midway through last season, Calgary QB Harry Burris has a decent looking set of receivers to choose from including a guy I miss seeing wearing blue and gold, Rombey Bryant. Bryant was a victim of Coach Kelly last year, a decent young fella who sometimes couldn’t catch a ball, but who I thought had his best years in front of him. Either he or Rambo will end up with a nice big game should the Winnipeg defense be unable to contain them both. The Calgary offense works extremely fast and although a couple of games has shown holes, the Stamps are alternately excellent at rushing the ball, dashing for almost 250 yards down the field last week when they cheerfully dismantled the Saskatchewan Roughriders.
Tonight Jyles will need to be firing them fast and often for receptions and first downs. This will only happen if the Winnipeg is able to stave off Calgary pressure on Jyles. Without this support and teamwork, it’s going to be a very busy afternoon for the Bomber punting team. Last week, Jyles looked composed and confident, generating 330 yards offense with 267 yards in the air and 63 on the ground making himself part of the play of the game which featured a second quarter toss to Terrence Jeffers-Harris that resulted in a 46 yard run to the end zone. It really was a thing of beauty, and a thing that put Winnipeg up 23-0 at that point in the game. In addition to running for two TD’s himself, Jyles looked like something we haven’t seen around these parts in some time – one of two starting QB’s, handling himself very well while Buck Pierce remains injured and unable to play. I like the overall composure of the team. When running properly, plays happen and drives are created.
The elements to a Bomber victory do exist and have been on display to Bomber faithful at various points in time this year. We have seen the team tinker in every department in search of answers and for the most part, they have been successful in doing so. With a 2-2 record, it’s safe to say that the time for experimenting is over as of tonight. A solution to McMahn Stadium has to be found and it needs to repel the stench of corpse that lingers throughout those dark tunnels, that crumbling infrastructure and a villainous crowd of vengeful thugs who all plan on getting shitfaced and beating our women into comas tonight.
It’s a disgrace I can barely contemplate. Go Blue!
